This novella is set during pre "Don't Ask Don't Tell" days, and tells a story of a lonely and confused gay boy from Covington, Ky and how he attempts to leave the confines of his city by joining the Army. Only to find out that his secret love has followed him into the military.
forward
I
remembered spending a good part of my high school graduation ceremony looking
at my Class
of ‘95 Senior Year Memory book in the hallway of our school’s Science Building. The hallway
connected to the school’s gymnasium where the ceremony was being held. Every now and then I
would hear the cheers of the parents of my fellow classmates as they walked across the stage, but
for the most part it was just me and my Memory Book.
of ‘95 Senior Year Memory book in the hallway of our school’s Science Building. The hallway
connected to the school’s gymnasium where the ceremony was being held. Every now and then I
would hear the cheers of the parents of my fellow classmates as they walked across the stage, but
for the most part it was just me and my Memory Book.
When
I was done looking over the pictures in the book for the fifth time, I flipped
through the
photographs one more time, as if to say good-bye to high school and headed out to wait for my turn
to take that symbolic walk across the stage. My red and white gowned classmates were sitting
in their assigned seats; the only sound was their names being announced and the claps from the
crowd. Underneath my own gown, I was wearing my favorite pair of Seven jeans and a blue ruffled
tuxedo shirt that I found at a thrift store just the day before. Principal Howard was dressed like one
of those people who received honorary degrees from colleges and stood un-phased by being the
center of attention as he called out the next student’s name. Wanting to just leave, I shuffled to
my seat towards the back of the gymnasium by the entrance and thought of better things that I
could have been doing. I glanced up to find my mom and dad sitting in the gymnasium bleachers
and saw that they had seen me just walk in. I could tell from my mom’s scowl that the only thing she
had in her head wishing that I did not embarrass her.
photographs one more time, as if to say good-bye to high school and headed out to wait for my turn
to take that symbolic walk across the stage. My red and white gowned classmates were sitting
in their assigned seats; the only sound was their names being announced and the claps from the
crowd. Underneath my own gown, I was wearing my favorite pair of Seven jeans and a blue ruffled
tuxedo shirt that I found at a thrift store just the day before. Principal Howard was dressed like one
of those people who received honorary degrees from colleges and stood un-phased by being the
center of attention as he called out the next student’s name. Wanting to just leave, I shuffled to
my seat towards the back of the gymnasium by the entrance and thought of better things that I
could have been doing. I glanced up to find my mom and dad sitting in the gymnasium bleachers
and saw that they had seen me just walk in. I could tell from my mom’s scowl that the only thing she
had in her head wishing that I did not embarrass her.
It
was then I saw Chase for the first time that night. His name was just called for him to receive
his
diploma and he was about to walk past my row to return to his seat. He was dolling out high five’s
to his fellow basketball team-mates as he walked down the aisle. He had a slight smirk on his
dimpled face; too cool to really smile, but far too popular of a kid to get away with being
stone-faced after just receiving his high school diploma. It didn’t take long for Chase to notice me
staring at him. The moment his eyes met mine I thought of the other night when we were
parked in a secluded area in his beat-up Dodge Ram pick-up truck in Devou Park overlooking
the Ohio River, our hands traveling frantically over each other’s body as though we were late for
class. I waved at him. Chase let his gaze linger for a moment and then turned and walked past.
I guess that was a sign to just fuck-off.
diploma and he was about to walk past my row to return to his seat. He was dolling out high five’s
to his fellow basketball team-mates as he walked down the aisle. He had a slight smirk on his
dimpled face; too cool to really smile, but far too popular of a kid to get away with being
stone-faced after just receiving his high school diploma. It didn’t take long for Chase to notice me
staring at him. The moment his eyes met mine I thought of the other night when we were
parked in a secluded area in his beat-up Dodge Ram pick-up truck in Devou Park overlooking
the Ohio River, our hands traveling frantically over each other’s body as though we were late for
class. I waved at him. Chase let his gaze linger for a moment and then turned and walked past.
I guess that was a sign to just fuck-off.
I
drove home with my parents afterwards.
In the back seat, my window down and my red tassel
danced from the wind. The Boys II Men song “End of the Road” filled the inside of the car from
the radio, but outside, the night sang with freedom. We moved unnoticed through town, first past
the gas station and the Family Dollar store which both lined Madison Avenue and then traveled over
the 15th street viaduct in to the West side of Covington. I felt like a stranger in my own hometown,
wanting to get out.
danced from the wind. The Boys II Men song “End of the Road” filled the inside of the car from
the radio, but outside, the night sang with freedom. We moved unnoticed through town, first past
the gas station and the Family Dollar store which both lined Madison Avenue and then traveled over
the 15th street viaduct in to the West side of Covington. I felt like a stranger in my own hometown,
wanting to get out.
